iDale

Sheikh Wada wada wada, of the Emir of Dubai, now has the largest yacht in the world. Bang!

This baby can host 115 people (or 230 skinny chicks) including a crew of 88. It’s got a pool, jacuzzis (yes, more than one), a helipad, dining areas, saloons, guest and VIP suites and more!

Pity for old Wada wada wada, because Roman “mine’s bigger than yours” Abramovich has commissioned an even larger yacht at 555-ft. It will also be bullet proof in case the Sheikh gets any ideas!

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane.

The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man isn’t sure why she is shuddering, and he goes back to reading. A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat. The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders violently again. The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, “Three times you’ve sneezed, and three times you’ve taken a tissue and wiped your nose, then shuddered violently! Are you sending me signals, or are you going crazy?”

The woman replies, “I’m sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm.

” The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, “I’ve never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?”

The woman looks at him and says, “Pepper.”

This question has had men (and sadly some women) staring in the mirror for decades…

Above is the definitive answer… this much is too much! Other signs that spell “It’s getting outta control buddy” include the need to gel your shoulder fluff, the urge to comb your guns or when you can’t find your own nipples!

This is the second piece of fine humor sent in by our latest contributor, The Broker. He loves gold, mixing it up on the decks and a good pizza! He also wonders what these kids will be doing on Easter…

A little boy asks his dad “Where does poo come from?”

Dad explained that food is passed down the oesophagus to the stomach where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal to extract protein before waste products descend via the colon and rectum to emerge as poo.

“Really?” asked the little boy, “and what about Tigger?”